The Transcendental Software Developer

Every now and then I get the opportunity to give some career advice to aspiring young individuals. Such was the case a few weeks ago riding home on the train. Some kids, recently into college, asked if I had any advice for them on making a living. I shared with them my opinion on career choices - that you need to find out what sort of person you are before you can figure out how you want to make money. At some point, I decided that humor would keep their attention better, and with that, I came up with the following, which I've dubbed Owen's Eight Asses:

The world is a tough place. No one is going to make you happy or give you what you want without effort on your part. You have to decide now what kind of person you want to be - how you want to attack the problems of life and make a living for yourself.

In my experience, there are approximately eight different way you can make it in the world each with varying results. Sadly, they all involve your ass so get used to it now. In no particular order, here are the different ways you can make it in the world:

1. Work your ass off - this is the one most likely to earn you a steady paycheck and a decent middle class life that you can be proud of. Fortunately for the pursuer of this option, it's not a common choice...most people end up choosing to take it in the rear instead (see #4 below).
2. Work your ass - I throw prostitutes, athletes, and many consultants in this bucket - people who use their beauty, brain, or both to get people to give them what they want. This usually involves a little working your ass off too if you truly want to achieve the higher levels of income. Decent chance of making more than a middle class wage here, but if you don't have the ass-et, you're shit out of luck.
3. Be an ass - nothing says success better than the guy or gal that steals your ideas and takes all the credit. Well, perhaps the person that does that then fires your ass too. While you may know quite a few wealthy people that have chosen this path, don't be fooled - it's harder to be successful as an ass then it looks. Chances are you end up being a poor ass. If you decide you want to be an ass, take a look at a dual career path of working your ass off coupled with being an ass. At least then you can sleep better at night.
4. Take it in the ass - quite a large portion of the working class ends up here - in a job they don't care for with a well-paid ass for a boss. Sure, it's not glamorous, and chances are that you will lose all self respect, but it pays in the end. Most people who choose this option started with working their ass off. Pay scale is middle to lower class with little opportunity for improvement.
5. Kiss ass - the concept here is similar to working one's ass off, with the idea that all your efforts are narrowly focused on kissing someone's ass - often a highly efficient endeavor. The general idea is that the person on the receiving end should be so enamored with your talent that promotions and praise will always be forthcoming. Good chances for middle or upper class income here if you can manage to latch on to the right ass.
6. Kiss your ass goodbye - more of a temporary solution than a lifestyle choice, kissing your ass goodbye is akin to leaving a company where you take it in the ass in hopes of landing a job at a company where you have more ass control and fewer incontinence issues. Experts at kissing their ass goodbye are adept at changing companies every few months, garnering ever increasing paychecks with little actual work performed.
7. Inherit your assets - everyone dreams that their parents were wealthy millionaires. Sadly, despite all the asinine fantasies, this is one choice fate determines for you. If you still have your heart and pocketbook on inheriting your assets, I recommend pursuing #2 above, working your ass.
8. Have one piece of fine ass - similar in concept to working one's ass (#2 above); however, those that well endowed with physical beauty can make their millions with even less effort. If you got it, look for a career in modeling, Hollywood, or wealthy spouse hunting. If you don't, see the kiss your ass goodbye section above.

In the end, most people will try several paths before settling on one. Experimentation with your ass is key.

For me, one of the most powerful and drug-like feelings out there is confidence - trusting in your talents and the talents of others; knowing that your information is good and your judgment sound; seeing the path laid out before you and striding along with your head held high, despite the challenges and difficulties. Confidence is not just courage, but courage coupled with knowledge and ability.

Confidence is also contagious. When you know the job at hand and the pitfalls and swindles that will inevitably arise - and you know that you can succeed - you exude a presence that fills the team. You inspire those around you - who may not see the picture as well - to find their place in the scheme and to perform at the best of their ability.

Confidence requires a few things: knowledge of the subject matter, practical and theoretical; actual on the ground time (meaning, time spent doing the work); a track record of delivery (successful AND not); and the belief of others that you can do it. That last one is the tricky one. I recommend copious amounts of bribery. Or find better people to work with.

The attribute that naturally follows confidence is leadership. When you exude confidence, people naturally ask for your input and direction (or perhaps even ask you to take the reins and lead the project). When you lead a project the chances of success rise (and so do the chances of career-affecting catastrophic failures)

Work is a game with unwritten rules, and there is more than one way to win. Confidence will help you to write the rules that make you succeed.

Ninety-nine and three-quarters percent, guaranteed.

People who know me know that I like to eat lunch - not the cheap, greasy, fast food garbage, but the expensive, unique eateries that abound around town. People also know that I like to go to lunch with everyone I work with and I have had the pleasure of dining with thousands of people over the years.

On the surface, it's a good way to get to know people. Stephen King, in his autobiographical work of non-fiction, On Writing, said that if you know the character, they'll get up on stage, introduce themselves, and tell you all about themselves, their life, and their concerns. He was talking about characters in writing, but it's the same with real people. If you see them - if you really see them - they will tell you all about their wants, needs, and desires. And that is powerful insight for influencing people.

Lunch, particularly at a nice place, also has the capacity to affect someone's opinion of you, particularly if it's your first real time to get to know each other and it's your guest's first time there. Eating a good lunch and getting to know someone is like meeting someone in a happy place - you're more likely to come away with a positive view of that person and they're more likely to think the same of you. If they have a positive view of you, they're less likely to stand in your way when you try to affect policy or direction.

But "WAIT!", you say, "Do you mean I have to interact socially with people and be a software developer too? I entered the field so I wouldn't HAVE to interact with people!"

I'm sorry to say, and it's sad, but it's true (to paraphrase Dr. Seuss), that work as well as life is a human endeavor. If all the humans on the world died tomorrow (including those floating around in that space-station thingy), no one would care that you implemented a unit-testing framework. Life is about people - and until you remember that you will never be much more than competent in any job (with some exceptions - undertaker, morgue worker, mime, etc.).

"But I'm not good with people!" you say. It's a skill - you learn it. At one point in your life you didn't know how to write the C# language, but now you can do it in your sleep (where some of the best code is written). It's the same with people. Get off your duff and learn the skill.

Work is a game whose rules haven't been written. Learning to influence people (without using the force) will help you write the rules that guarantee your success.

In a recent meeting, someone brought up the agile development topic of not quite enough (actually mocking it, something like, "there's a methodology out there where you actually don't do all of the work"). I took a few minutes to rant a correction.

Not quite enough is a powerful concept that revolves around the idea that it is almost impossible to identify the 'enough' mark on a given development project. How much documentation is enough? How much testing? How abstract should the implementation be? These are all questions that are hard to answer until all the variables are known, and they can't all be known until the project is over with. The only way to deliver enough is to over deliver - and anything delivered that's more than enough is wasteful and inefficient.

Not quite enough tells us to do as little as possible (comparatively speaking, please don't spin in your chair for hours and expect the software to code itself) and depend on frequent customer feedback. This allows us to develop exactly what is needed quickly, adapt to rapid change with ease, and deliver great software in the most optimum manner.

A long time ago, my employer once passed along to me some wise sage advice:

"Owen," he said, "your job is not to do your job; your job is to make me look good."

I'm sure the shock on my altruistic face caused him to explain further: "If I look good, you get to keep your job. If I look bad, I don't care how well you do your job."

I've related that story to a number of people over the years. Some nod their heads vigorously in approval; some go into a rampage and express their hope that I quit that job on the spot (HR people are usually in this boat - but they're typically a bit out of touch anyway).

I fall into the former category. As a consultant, it's arguably even more important to make your client and employer look good than as an employee. One's continued paycheck depends on it. Sure, we advise where we can on direction and try to help the client avoid mistakes, but in the end, we still need to do it the way they want it done.  Sometimes, we need to work miracles, if we want to be successful. Even more often, that means swallowing our pride (I thank the Air Force for teaching me to swallow my pride in liberal amounts).

I've had the privilege of being offered a position at every client I've worked at. I've yet to accept a position, but the interest alone has been enough to ratify my view that we're here to make our boss, client, or employer look good.